Chapter 30 Happy Was The Day

Elizabeth scarcely entered the Gardiner parlor when her mother grabbed her arm and practically forced Elizabeth to sit next to her on the sofa.

“However did you manage it, child? Your father, myself, and even your Uncle Phillips thought Mr. Darcy was playing you meanly!”

“Mama, but why did you not believe Mr. Darcy? Had he not done enough to rescue Lydia and bring Mr. Bingley back to the neighborhood to show he was a man of good character?” she asked, biting her lower lip as she simultaneously hoped the gentlemen would return soon, but also not enter into this particular conversation.

“Lizzy, from their perspective, and I will admit, I also can see how it looked to them, Mr. Darcy appeared to be the cause of those misfortunes.”

“Misfortunes! How on earth was Mr. Darcy responsible for the lax guardianship and upbringing of my sister Lydia?” Elizabeth stood abruptly , shaking off her mother’s reach to try to keep her there. Her head throbbed with the artifice of everyone’s behavior. Moments ago, everyone was kind and laughing together around the dinner table, and now she was ambushed to answer for more of Mr. Darcy’s alleged sins he did not commit.

“Careful, Lizzy, remember that marriage is forever. Everyone was only looking out for your best interests,” Jane said, trying to calm her sister, but the cloying tone in Jane’s voice set Elizabeth’s teeth on edge.

“Do not. Do not. Do NOT!” she said, raising her voice as poor Mary hid in the corner, glancing at the door as though she should make an exit. Creating a cross-cutting motion with her arms, Elizabeth kept everyone from approaching her. She began to enumerate on her fingers, “I have vouched, confessed, pleaded, waited, concealed, and suffered for the best interests of everyone in my family. I shall not—” she said, choking on a sob as she thought of everything Mr. Darcy had done for her family, and even what the Darcy Privilege would do for her, including so much that she could not share. 

Taking a deep breath, Aunt Gardiner approached Elizabeth and gingerly embraced her niece. 

“This afternoon, while you and Jane were gone, your parents and your uncle and I held a frank discussion about the last year. Each of us knew only a small portion of the knowledge you possessed, and we likely do not know all, even today. But just as you decided to shoulder so many secrets and burdens without sharing them with us, please decide to give us the grace of catching up. Please, dearest,” her aunt requested.

Exhaling, and allowing her aunt to lead her back over to the seating area, Elizabeth balked before sitting down. Remembering who she would become in the morning, and where her loyalties must lie, she sought to establish a clear boundary: “I will hear unflattering and impolite discourse about Mr. Darcy tonight, before the gentlemen rejoin us, and then never again.”

Mrs. Gardiner nodded and then elbowed Mrs. Bennet into agreeing to her daughter’s demand.

Satisfied, Elizabeth pushed the wingback chair over from the far side of the room to sit before her mother, aunt, and sister. She felt determined to finally clear the animosity that had bred between them. For a quarter-hour, she patiently countered each claim against Mr. Darcy, only to receive a swift agreement as to the facts of the situation, followed by a request for her to consider how it appeared. When the subject touched on Lydia, Elizabeth held up both hands to stop her mother.

“Even if Mr. Darcy had exposed Mr. Wickham for the charlatan the man was, and a son-in-law you and Papa have embraced, I might remind you, Lydia would have received the same invitation from Mrs. Forster. And you encouraged her, Mama, to catch herself an officer. Lieutenant Denny, or another, would have just as easily caught Lyddie’s eye. Men won’t turn down such an offer,” Elizabeth said, speaking plainly about Lydia.

“But my Lydia was an innocent in all of that!” Mrs. Bennet started until Mrs. Gardiner chided her.

“Fanny, I attempted to separate the girl myself. She refused. Lydia most certainly pursued her own ruining in the name of marrying first.”

“Mama, you made sure we could think of nothing else,” Jane said, softly.

Mrs. Bennet fumed. She scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. “And what about poor Jane?”

Elizabeth laughed. 

Mrs. Gardiner spoke with a worried look on her face. “Elizabeth, be gentle . . .” she pleaded.

Defiantly, Elizabeth shook her head. Leaning forward to confront both her mother and her sister, she placed blame on them both. “Jane refused to listen to any advice about encouraging Mr. Bingley and you bragged so loudly about their presumed match. As you have asked me so many times this evening, how could that have appeared to Mr. Darcy as anything but the machinations of a fortune hunter?”

Jane blanched. “This conversation is very distressing,” she whispered.

“I agree and am happy to be finished with it,” Elizabeth said. 

Before another vote could be cast on the subject, the parlor doors opened and Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Bingley entered. Elizabeth immediately stood up and flew to the other side of the room, but her uncle blocked her escape.

“Peace, Lizzy. Your father and Mr. Darcy requested the use of my office. Allow them to bury their grudges,” he said, raising an eyebrow, and then yawning as the hour had grown quite late. 

As Mary was sent to bed, Jane and Mr. Bingley sat close to the fire so that they could speak with a measure of privacy. Elizabeth was suddenly surrounded by her mother, aunt, and uncle, and found the tightness of their circle around her uncomfortable.

“I did not get the chance to apologize,” Mrs. Bennet said, stiffly.

Elizabeth blinked in disbelief.

“Your father and I love all of our girls and indulged some of you too much and some of you too little. His favoritism vexes me to no end, you were supposed to be a boy, Lizzy. Jane, our sweet girl, but then the next, a boy,” Mrs. Bennet’s voice cracked.

“Mama,” Elizabeth said, trying to make her mother cease her raw expression of emotion.

“And then each girl, he cared less and less. We had failed. We gambled when we were very young, and lost. Until you and Jane rescued us all,” Mrs. Bennet said, finally giving over to crying and then embracing the daughter who had believed herself to be her mother’s least-loved child.

As Elizabeth gently removed herself from her mother’s embrace, Mr. Gardiner leaned over. “Your father and mother married against the wishes of your grandfather. The entail was designed to restrict my family’s influence on the dashing young man who frequented London.”

“Until that old codger died, we lived on a pittance!” Mrs. Bennet complained.

Elizabeth felt nauseated. Pain, infighting, and danger always came from money. Who had more of it? Who had less? Would she and Jane become rivals in a few years? Would Jane and Mr. Bingley remain in their social sphere after the wedding? Upon taking vows in the morning in front of the Archbishop’s primate each of their worlds would vastly change.

The door to the parlor opened once more, and Elizabeth’s father entered the room. Breaking free of the doting circle around her, she squared herself before her father, refusing to drop her eyes in deference. Instead, he bowed his head.

“I am forgiven by Mr. Darcy. It shall be my honor to give both you and your sister away if you will allow.”

Elizabeth pursed her lips. “He asked you to seek my opinion on the matter?”

Mr. Bennet chuckled. “You know that he did.”

Wrinkling her nose, she kissed her father’s cheek. “He will do nicely as a husband, will he not?”

Kissing his daughter back, Mr. Bennet agreed. “I believe he might be the best-suited man for your hand in all of England. And he’s waiting in your uncle’s office to speak to you.”

Elizabeth froze in surprise, then glanced over at Jane and Mr. Bingley. Her father interrupted her reflections on fairness.

“No more, little bird. You are not your sister’s keeper. Go to him.”

Lifting her skirt in her hand, she shuffled behind her father and escaped the parlor, arrested at the sight of Mr. Darcy waiting for her in the office doorway. The glowing candles around him made her feel as though she were witnessing him in a dream. She was only startled out of her stupor when her father’s booming voice shouted behind her, then muffled in volume as he closed the parlor door behind him.

Mr. Darcy extended  his hand, and Elizabeth reached out to grasp it. No sooner than their hands aligned, he pulled her dashingly into the office, gently closing the door behind them, as he spun her with the excess energy. Pulling her other hand to his, he met their coupled palms between them like so many dances in London ballrooms, but then did not push away as the next dance step commanded. Elizabeth stood up on the tips of her toes, and their lips met in a kiss both had craved for hours.

One kiss led to two, and then longer, and as their tongues slipped against one another’s in heightened ecstasy, their hands dropped from between them into equally frantic pressing themselves into a tighter embrace. At last, Elizabeth found her self-constraint and shoved emphatically against him to save them both from embarrassment.

Panting, she took a few steps away from him and braced her hand flatly on the arm of the sofa as her knees felt weak. “Sir, I believe you are the one who instructed me on the hazards of silk,” she said, gasping from the exertion and offering him a toothy grin. Involuntarily, they both flicked their gazes to the fall of his breeches, where Mr. Darcy’s arousal was clearly visible.

They both chuckled, and he ran his hand through his hair, a boyish gesture Elizabeth found utterly endearing. “These, my dearest, are linen. However, I’m afraid the risk is the same.”

“And my gown is silk,” she mentioned, raising an eyebrow to make it clear she was not unaffected. 

The clock on the mantle struck the eleventh hour and both of them took the sign to chastely kiss and embrace once more. 

Holding Elizabeth close, Mr. Darcy attempted to use the time he was granted for his bride to speak her mind.

“If you are worried about the settlement, I am not certain I can have new papers drafted before morning . . .” he began, and Elizabeth turned her face up to his once more to silence him with a kiss.

The sign of affection aligned awkwardly, as at first, he tried to continue talking, and she pressed her lips harder against his that he had to stop or risk injuring her with his teeth.

“So you are not displeased with the documents Mr. Lamont had you sign?” he asked once they parted again.

She shook her head. 

“I worried,” she began, as a single knock rapped on the door. “I worried that the terms I agreed to may cause you unease,” she managed as her father poked his head in to spy the couple embracing and then swiftly pulled his head back.

“I do promise you both that after tomorrow, you will have no end to each other’s company. But I’m afraid I really must insist,” Mr. Bennet said, gallantly, remaining on the other side of the open door. Voices from the hallway carried into the office and both Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy realized their precious moments alone were over, at least for now.

Walking over to the door, he positioned Elizabeth slightly in front of himself as they addressed the mixed company. “That is a relief to hear, madam. Unless Mr. Lamont required you to forsake marrying me, I don’t believe there could be anything in those papers that offends.”

Elizabeth nervously chuckled as many farewells were given. The front entryway was too congested for any further intimacy for either couple, and both gentlemen rode away in their respective carriages.

As Elizabeth looped her arm in Jane’s to walk up the stairs to share a bedroom together one last time, she whispered a thought they both felt painfully unfair. Why couldn’t marriages be held at night? 

The door to their shared room creaked as they entered and both women paused to stare at the beds meant for their rest.

“Have you arranged for a maid yet?” Elizabeth asked, suddenly wishing Antoinette had remained. She could use the woman’s skill at massaging scalps after such a trying evening.

Jane gently turned her sister around in the undressing dance they had used at home for so many years. She loosened the strings in the back of Elizabeth’s gown and helped her sister lift the silk up over her head.

“This is the finest embroidery I’ve seen you wear,” she mentioned, feeling the elegant fabric between her fingers before smoothing the gown for proper storage. 

Elizabeth shivered as she hurried to lift the robe left on her bed. After she shrugged on the warmer garment over her shift, she realized Jane’s wrap was not on her bed. Taking it upon herself to fetch her sister’s robe from her trunk, she laid it upon Jane’s bed and took her gown from her sister. 

“Have you decided on what you will wear for the wedding tomorrow?”

“Lizzy,” Jane interrupted her sister’s work with her gown and tilted her head so that her sister had to make eye contact with her. “Lizzy, I did not properly apologize. I risked my entire relationship with you over my silly fears about Mr. Bingley, and, and . . .”

Jane took a moment to close her eyes and gulped. Elizabeth waited patiently for her sister to finish instead of offering an immediate salve to the wounds between them.

“My jealousy and unkindnesses. I should not have taken it personally how much you concealed your dealings with Mr. Darcy,” Jane said.

“It was never my intention to harm by keeping the weight of my problems from you,” Elizabeth answered, turning her sister around to finish what she began. While she did not mind talking, the floor was unbearably cold on her feet. 

Jane wiggled and aided her sister in lifting her gown over her head, then made a similar grab for her robe. Tying the sash, she considered Elizabeth as she took down her hair.

“Still. I want to know if you will accept my apology, and my vow to learn from my mistakes for the future. Yes, we shall have our husbands that need our love and loyalty, but I avow to always seek out your advice and side to every challenge, before making up my mind.”

Elizabeth snorted. 

“Are we taking our vows tonight?” she asked. 

“Lizzy! Be serious! What if Aunt had not written to me and I didn’t make it to London in time to repair our relationship?” Jane asked.

Elizabeth shrugged. Then saw how her logical approach offended her sister, so she rushed over to embrace Jane. “Never, never, ever will we cease being sisters! I may get cross, or you may get cross, but how can anything take away the decades of devotion between us?”

Jane relented and explained she would still try to live up to her words. And Elizabeth agreed to the same.

“Now, did you and Mama decide what you will wear tomorrow for our wedding?” Elizabeth asked again.

Jane bit her lower lip. “The gown I had planned to wear is at home. We selected a substitute.” Jane’s voice fell as she said the last word.

Elizabeth skipped over to the wardrobe and flung it open. “Then you must borrow one of mine.”

“No, I could not do that. Not after everything that has happened.”

“Fine, then do not borrow it. Take it! Any that you want except for the yellow one, that one is special to me,” Elizabeth said, remembering the night at the opera with a fond smile.

Jane approached to stand just behind her sister and admired the embarrassment of choice before her. Gingerly, she pointed a finger at a pale blue gown with flowered lace organza over the bodice. 

“Perfect! I never thought that color would suit me,” Elizabeth said, hoping to alleviate her sister’s shame in taking a gown.

“Are you sure you do not mind? I would hate for you to regret giving me this gown,” Jane said, holding the frock up to the candlelight to admire the stitching properly.

Elizabeth shook her head. She wanted to tell Jane that after tomorrow, she could afford any gown she so desired, but there was no way for her to disclose such a thing without violating the agreements she had made. “I will be in London for weeks, and if I truly wish for another like it, I can have it made again.”

“But not exactly like this one—” Jane demanded, then covered her mouth with her hands as Elizabeth pounced on the opportunity to scold her sister.

“You said you would not be jealous anymore!”

“I know, I know, and you are too generous to help me after the little help I offered you. But, I just wanted my wedding gown to be special,” Jane said, hanging her head in a small defeat of her self-control. 

Elizabeth took the gown from Jane’s hands to place it back upon a peg so it would not wrinkle. “I understand completely and would never have a duplicate made. Besides, that shade of blue always makes my skin look jaundiced. And no woman wishes to look sickly!” 

Both sisters laughed and took advantage of one more embrace before shimmying down below the quilts to keep them warm. Jane sat up to blow out the candle, and the extinguishing of light made both women gasp. 

“Our last night together,” Elizabeth whispered. 

“I’m glad we have one,” Jane replied, with a yawn. 

Both Bennet brides soon found exhaustion awaited them, from the emotional drain of the day, the moment they finally ceased their thoughts and laid down.